Would you like fries with your bleeding butt, sir?

[Fulldraw]

Shopper accidentally shoots self at mall
Copyright 2003 Houston Chronicle

A man accidentally shot himself Tuesday in the food court area of a west Houston mall, police said.

Several food court patrons heard the gunshot about 4:15 p.m. at Memorial City Mall in the 900 block of Gessner.

The small pistol apparently fell out of the man's pocket and discharged when it hit the ground. One round hit him in the buttocks, police said.

They said the man was treated at a hospital for "non-life-threatening injuries." He may be charged with carrying a concealed



First he will sue the mall for letting him in with a gun.
Then he will sue the people who helped him (for some reason).
Then he will sue any paper or other media that makes fun of him.
Then he will sue the EMT's for not getting their 1 second faster.
Then he will sue the gun manufacturer for a faulty product.
Then he will get short-term disability because he can't work.
Then he will get unemployment when the STD runs out.
Then he will get on some goverment program.
Then he will sue the schools because he's so stupid.
Then he will sue the hospital because "his ass just don't be right no more"
Then he will never have to work a day in his life again (like he did before).
Then the insurance companies and government will raise our taxes/rates to cover all of that.

I only wish that I was joking!

[Anonymous]

We can only hope that since he "may be charged with carrying a concealed weapon" that he isn't a permitee. Imagine the hayday the media would have with that.